Ode to the New York Jew.

Nah, I can't write poetry for shit. On Wikipedia an "Ode" is defined as;

"Ode (from the Ancient Greek ὠδή) is a form of stately and elaborate lyrical verse. A classic ode is structured in three parts: the strophe, the antistrophe, and the epode. Different forms such as the homostrophic ode and the irregular ode also exist."

I have NO idea what that means. Actually, this post is about David Duchovny.
(Dude, how insulted do you think he'd be if he knew about this?)

Anyway, I've been having these feelings. Mr. Duchovny has been my hero for such a long time. I mean, I was first just really hot for him. Well, not REALLY hot. I was only about 12 when I first saw him. Then, I had a boy-band crush on him so I bought books about him and stuff. And I read them. And once I read them, I realized...That he's really smart. And he's...real. Someone I idenfied with. And, I really did everything I could to get to meet the man. Now, please, PLEASE understand...I don't think I'm special. I don't think David Duchovny would like me or anything like that. I'm not THAT crazy. I just wanted to meet him. Even if he never remembered me again. So, I went to the WonderCon Convention in San Francisco. I asked him for advice...on, on, on life. Mr. Duchvony gave me advice on my life. Advice that I actually live by. But, lately?

...Lately, I've been so disappointed with him. He keeps making these stupid comments in interviews and stuff.

Example from The Advocate:

Are you going the Full Monty this season?
No. There’s just something about full frontal male nudity that always comes off as ridiculous and silly to me. It’s not really necessary.

Um, news flash to David Duchovny: What makes female nudity necessary? What's necessary about ANY nudity? What about gay men, Mr. Duchovny? Tits and pussies don't do anything for them. OR, hey, what about straight women? Duh. What you said was...really idiotic.

Look, I'm not saying I have ANY right into Mr. Duchovny's life...I just...I'm just a fan.

Mr. Duchovny, please come back to Earth. We miss you.

Dan Halen

"I've had my scientists create for me a Griffin...his name is Ken Griffin jr."

- Dan Halen -

He is a small, kidney shaped business tycoon who has lived and spread evil for thousands of years. He is the actual person in charge of Dan Halen Industries, a multi-national corporation responsible for sheet rock, dangerous baby furniture, body stencils, selling arms to third world countries, and other concerns. And he rocks my socks.

"Play me a tune Country bard...Well, get to it. I have you 'till six."

Listen up, hoe-bags.

My real name is Nicole. Alrighty then. Well, this is my first blog post...I'm supposin' I should write some stuff about myself, eh?

Well, a few things to know -- I use insults and curse words often.

I live in California but I'm from New York

My birthday is Decemeber 28th, bitches.

I write fan-fiction and make Youtube Movies under the names

"XXM F LuderXX" and "Lee Holloway".

I'll add more stuff in a few minutes, I guess. Um, okay, let me explain a few things now.

"Leaves of Grass, my ass!" is not because I hate Walt Whitman. That's a line from The Simpsons, actually. When Homer finds out his mother is still alive and the grave he THOUGHT was her's is really Whitman's...he kicks it and screams that. I love Homer.

And one of my names "Lee Holloway" is from this beautiful movie called "The Secretary" with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Beautiful movie -- watch it.

Okay, how should I do this? Should I go on a long paragraph about myself or...just do some, like, a list. Well, I'm lazy so a list seems easier to me. Okay, now these are in no order. At all. Just stuff I love;

________________________________________

1. David Duchovny
2. David Duchovny

He get's two spots because he's spicy and my personal hero. That's right. My hero. H-E-R-O. Really. Even if he wasn't the most beautiful thing on Earth, I'd still have him here. His personality and his mind are...what make him so amazing.

3. South Park

There should be college courses on this show. It's truely amazing. Brilliant.

4. The Rocky Horror Picture Show

My freakin' name is "Rocky Horror Mulder". Duuuuh. You should have guessed I loved RHPS and the X-Files.

5. The X-Files

Scully can go fuck herself. Mulder is great though...to an extent.

6. English

Please, now...I have NO problem with other languages and such. I'm just...I'm in love with the English language; even though my spelling blows like a 2-dollar whore.

7. Dave Matthews Band

Beautiful. Most beautiful music in this world.

8. Tim Burton

Best director...ever!

9. Mr. Show with Bob and David

David Cross and Bob Odenkirk...fucking geniuses.

10. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Mac, Charlie, Dennis and Sweet Dee. Oh, yeah.

11. The Soup

So meaty. And Lou!!

12. The Colbert Report & The Daily Show

Jon Stewart is halirious and brilliant. Stephan is...perfect. The perfect mockery of Republicans.

13. CALIFORNICATION!

Ha! I love it! "The big hand says, 'Fuck' and the little one says 'Off'."

14. Nick Lea

Such a sweetheart. Adore that man.

15. Ed Wood

The movie and the man.

16. Records

I have a nice record collection. And I really like it. Records are the new...old CD's...hmm...Ha!

17. American Beauty

I almost sobbed when Chris Cooper kissed Kevin Spacey.

18. Napolean Dynamite

"Whatever I feel like...God!"

19. House

I love House! I know it's unreal but I love it anyway. Bite me.

20. Reno 911!

Terry! Terry! Terry! I love him! Ah! Terry!

_____________________________________

Okay, that's all...for now. I'm sure I'll remember a lot later. Ooooh, just remembered one: Robert Downey jr.

-whispers- I love you, Robert.

Okay, anyway, so, um....um...Okay...Oh! Okay, well, one thing you should know about me is that I'm a 15 year old girl. Heterosexual (wishes I was a lesbian). I love gay...things. I know that sounds horrible but it's true. I would do pretty much anything to be a gay man. But, oh well. Even in the X-Files I believed in Mulder/Krycek...all the way, baby. Come on, you see a manipulation of Krycek's cock in Mulder's ass and you'd be hooked, too. One word: Hot!

So, okay. A couple of things I can't stand;

________________________________________

1. Stupid people

2. Conservitives/Republicans (see "Stupid People")

3. Gay-bashers (see "Stupid People")

4. Drew Barrymore

5. Matthew Mchona...whatever. The dude who never wears a shirt and has no talent.

6. Jimmy Fallon

7. Jolie/Pitt shit

8. Tabloids

9. Boston

10. Football Jocks and Cheerleaders

__________________________________________

"I'm impatient with stupidity."

-Klaatu from "The Day the Earth Stood Still"